By Sandra @ Absolutely Narcissism
We, and by we, I mean me, grew up in a time when children roamed the streets. It’s so commonly heard that parents would kick their children outside after breakfast, and the kids would return home for bed. Much to my kids’ dismay, I’ve uttered the “when I was your age” more times than Quacker has oats. Smart ass kids will now reply, “We know Mom, when you were our age, you would ride your bike around the block.” And they make faces at each other like I’m full of shit. Really I must have been riding my dinosaur.
But, having grown up with such freedom, I don’t realize the extent to which today’s children are being raised with a sense of doom and gloom. At school they are taught ways to fight back if abducted. Where to hit the assailant. Which direction to run in. How to kick out the tail light if they are locked in the trunk of a car. This is scary stuff. I know it’s important to know, but as an adult, this is the kind of “20/20” episode I watch through the slits in my fingers.
This week I took my children to the mall during a rainy day. The girls went their way and the boys and I went ours. In the afternoon, when we went to the meeting place to find the girls, they weren’t there. No biggie. They’re probably in Chapters flipping through magazines. So I go to Chapters to find them. But they aren’t there.
They must be in Claire’s looking at all the sparkly shit that they want but would never wear – Claire is my archenemy. She makes my daughter spend all her hard earned money on crap that gets lost, thrown out, or given away, because really, who needs Pillsbury Dough Boy earrings? But nope. No sign of Zoe or her friend.
Ok. They must be in the food court. I go to the food court, but the girls aren’t anywhere to be seen. I go back to the boys.My son, Jackson, says to me, “Are you scared Mom?” I’m like, “Scared of what?”
He says, “That someone kidnapped them.”
Kidnapped them? WTF? I hadn’t thought of that. Honestly, I was wondering if they were hauled up in the mall security office for having used a five-finger discount at... well, at Claire’s – those sparkly little stupid items are easy to pocket.
That’s what I was worried about. Not kidnapping.
Even though I knew I would be angry, and was mentally preparing my speech for my daughter should the shoplifting scenario actually end up being the case, to myself I was snickering, thinking of all the good shit kids had to steal nowadays. In my day, we had, like one colour of lipstick to choose from. And stickers. Stickers were easy to stuff in your pockets. Although, my friend Lianne once walked out of a store with three sweatshirts stuffed inside her pants!
But kidnapping had never even occurred to me.
As it turned out, the girls had been waiting for us somewhere else. When I met up with them, they both said to me, “Did you think we had been kidnapped?”
Seriously? Again with the kidnapping? What the hell...doesn’t anybody know how to shoplift anymore?
Thanks for hanging out this weekend, Sandra!
Jellybean and/or Scooby Doo getting kidnapped has always been one of my biggest fears. Maybe it's just a mom thing, or maybe it is generated from my hearing loss and worry that I wouldn't hear them?
Do you have a phobia about your kids? Tell us what it is.