Saturday, August 21, 2010

Guest Blog: Stranger Danger

Please welcome back Sandra from Absolutely Narcissism.

Stranger Danger
By Sandra @ Absolutely Narcissism

We, and by we, I mean me, grew up in a time when children roamed the streets. It’s so commonly heard that parents would kick their children outside after breakfast, and the kids would return home for bed. Much to my kids’ dismay, I’ve uttered the “when I was your age” more times than Quacker has oats. Smart ass kids will now reply, “We know Mom, when you were our age, you would ride your bike around the block.” And they make faces at each other like I’m full of shit. Really I must have been riding my dinosaur.

But, having grown up with such freedom, I don’t realize the extent to which today’s children are being raised with a sense of doom and gloom. At school they are taught ways to fight back if abducted. Where to hit the assailant. Which direction to run in. How to kick out the tail light if they are locked in the trunk of a car. This is scary stuff. I know it’s important to know, but as an adult, this is the kind of “20/20” episode I watch through the slits in my fingers.

This week I took my children to the mall during a rainy day. The girls went their way and the boys and I went ours. In the afternoon, when we went to the meeting place to find the girls, they weren’t there. No biggie. They’re probably in Chapters flipping through magazines. So I go to Chapters to find them. But they aren’t there.

They must be in Claire’s looking at all the sparkly shit that they want but would never wear – Claire is my archenemy. She makes my daughter spend all her hard earned money on crap that gets lost, thrown out, or given away, because really, who needs Pillsbury Dough Boy earrings? But nope. No sign of Zoe or her friend.

Ok. They must be in the food court. I go to the food court, but the girls aren’t anywhere to be seen. I go back to the boys.My son, Jackson, says to me, “Are you scared Mom?” I’m like, “Scared of what?”
He says, “That someone kidnapped them.”

Kidnapped them? WTF? I hadn’t thought of that. Honestly, I was wondering if they were hauled up in the mall security office for having used a five-finger discount at... well, at Claire’s – those sparkly little stupid items are easy to pocket.

That’s what I was worried about. Not kidnapping.

Even though I knew I would be angry, and was mentally preparing my speech for my daughter should the shoplifting scenario actually end up being the case, to myself I was snickering, thinking of all the good shit kids had to steal nowadays. In my day, we had, like one colour of lipstick to choose from. And stickers. Stickers were easy to stuff in your pockets.  Although, my friend Lianne once walked out of a store with three sweatshirts stuffed inside her pants!

But kidnapping had never even occurred to me.

As it turned out, the girls had been waiting for us somewhere else. When I met up with them, they both said to me, “Did you think we had been kidnapped?”

Seriously? Again with the kidnapping? What the hell...doesn’t anybody know how to shoplift anymore?

Thanks for hanging out this weekend, Sandra! 

 Jellybean and/or Scooby Doo getting kidnapped has always been one of my biggest fears. Maybe it's just a mom thing, or maybe it is generated from my hearing loss and worry that I wouldn't hear them?

Do you have a phobia about your kids? Tell us what it is.

Friday, August 20, 2010

BSOW: Medusa Syndrome

It's that time of the week again! The time when I forgo my diet to whip out the yummy tri-colored ice cream and give it away!! Yep. I give my ice cream away.

I find this blogger to be delightfully funny. Her husband finds himself at the end of his rope, and she blogs about it. Read what happens when narcissism is faced with puppies and rainbows thinking. She even has a tendency to let her ego do the talking. Intrigued?

Please give a warm poop-filled welcome to Sandra of Absolutely Narcissism. (cue sounds of John Travolta belting out "Oh Sandy!")

I asked her: "What mythological beast/being do you associate with and why?"

I most associate with Medusa. According to Greek mythology, this ugly bitch with snakes for hair would turn anyone who looked directly into her eyes to stone.
No, I don't turn anyone to stone. But when I don't straighten my hair, I make Medusa's dreads look like spun silk.

Make sure you come back tomorrow for her guest post. You want to know if she brings Medusa or her typical narcissistic self. 
By the way, I enjoyed my blogcation, only to come back and find that my neighbor snipped my Fios cable (at least that is what we think, since we can't find any other solution to fixing our phone/tv/internet), so I am on sparingly. At least I have good blog fodder for next week, eh? Also, this means that I am having a difficult time commenting on blogs because the laptop won't let me. I will play catch up as soon as I am back up and running on my regular pc. Grrr.
Happy weekend!!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

2 Truths & a Lie Thursday: Castle in the Sky

Welcome! Tell 2 truths and a lie and make us guess which is the lie.
You've played this game before, so why not join The Scoop on Poop and CA Girl every Thursday by:

1. Grabbing the handy little button on the sidebar
2. Posting your 2 truths and a lie
3. Link up
4. Reveal your lie the next week!
5. Visit others who link up and leave a comment guessing their lie.

It's that easy!! You know you want to play!! Link up today!!

Last Week's Fact or Fiction

1. The only show I will actually get off the computer to watch is American Idol.
TRUE . American Idol is the only show that can pry me away from the computer and onto the couch. GC wishes it was on all year round.

2. My dream home is a castle in Ireland.
FALSE. While I would love to visit Ireland, I would rather replicate an Irish castle on my own piece of land here in the US. I haven't figured out which state I would live in yet, but Virginia (where I have always lived) suits me just fine too.
(Image of Kilkenny castle is not my own)
3. My dream car is a Vorsteiner BR9 Bentley Continental GT.
TRUE. Some day, I will own a Bentley, specifically a Vorsteiner Br9 Continental GT. The picture says it all...

Yeah...excuse me for a second. I need to go clean up the drool.

2 Truths & a Lie
1. GC wants to go to Disney World, and while I always used to dream of going, the cost of the trip eats my insides away. 
2. I am an online shopping freak.
3. I had 4 good points on my driving record until I got a speeding ticket in April.

Can you tell the truths from the lie?
Link up to join in and share your 2 truths & a lie today. I'd love to have you join in.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Waving from the Balcony

No, I'm not quitting, I'm just enjoying the last of our summer vacation with the kids, and having a great time. This will be a summer to remember. I will be back with 2 Truths & a Lie on Thursday and to feature another Fabulous blogger on Friday. I hope to find some time to catch up on all my favorite reads, and visit all my lovely commentors. Y'all deserve it. Ta Ta For Now, or as Tigger would say "TTFN!"

P.S. See those lovely tabs at the top of the page? Feel free to get some poop on you. ;)

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